motivation for accomplishment
HTTP://BLOGTOPRACTICE.WEEBLY.COM
dR. wILLIAM GOFF
-a resource for parents, teachers, and counselors of gifted students
-site authored by Dr. William Goff and refined by the Parent Institute Committee.
-site provides a number of tools and resources for parents, teachers, and counselors to utilize when working with underachieving or unmotivated gifted students
-site authored by Dr. William Goff and refined by the Parent Institute Committee.
-site provides a number of tools and resources for parents, teachers, and counselors to utilize when working with underachieving or unmotivated gifted students
Gifted Characteristics and Concomitant Problems
I will be listing the gifted characteristics and concomitant problems throughout the spring.
Characteristic:
Power of critical thinking; skepticism,
evaluative testing, self-criticism and self checking
Concomitant Problem:
Critical attitude toward others; discouragement from self-criticism
Characteristic:
High energy, alertness, eagerness; periods of intense voluntary effort preceding invention
Concomitant Problem:
Frustration with inactivity and absence of progress
1 Positive Coaching Tips for Parents -- from Up From Underachievement by Diane Heacox
1. USE MODERATION
Too much celebration or analysis can lead to problems. Your child may start believing that you love him when he succeeds and criticize him when he doesn’t. This attitude may encourage perfectionism. Recognize your child’s improvements, not just his successes. Help him through disappointments when things do not work out as well as he hoped. Make a strong effort to stop the roller coaster ride of winning highs and losing lows.
2. BE POSITIVE
Be especially positive in your comments about school and your child’s teachers. Listen to her complaints about school, and then encourage her to see the other point of view. Ask questions like, “What do you think the teacher saw/thought/believed?” “Why do you think the teacher may want you to do that?”
3. AGREE ON AND COMMUNICATE EXPECTATIONS
It is important for your child to get the same clear message about school expectations from both Mom and Dad. If one of you shields the child from the other’s expectations, the child learns to play the two of you against each other. You need to agree on what is expected of your child’s academic performance. Your standards must be in line with what your child is realistically capable of achieving. If you need help identifying reasonable academic expectations, consult your child’s teacher, the school psychologist, or the school counselor. Talk with your child about his strengths and limitations. Focus on limitations as “things you are working on,” not “things you are bad at.” “Working on” implies that he can and probably will improve if he puts in some time and effort. Although some of his talents and skills may never be as strong as others, improvement is always possible. Never excuse poor performance by saying, “That’s okay; I wasn’t good at (math/social studies/composition/whatever) either.” Treat all of your child’s subjects as if they are equally important and relevant.
4. LET THE LEARNER STRUGGLE
Your child develops feelings of confidence and competence when she is able to overcome obstacles on her own. If you rush to assist, instruct, or direct whenever things get difficult, you are sending a negative message: You are telling your child that she is not able enough, smart enough, or competent enough to figure things out for herself. Think about how good you feel when you find your way through a difficult task. Allow your child to experience that wonderful feeling of accomplishment. This doesn’t mean that you should abandon your child to go it alone. Instead, provide support and encouragement (“I know you can figure it out”). If your child tries and still doesn’t understand, coach her by talking through the problem, concept, or skill. Don’t do the problem for her.
5. CONNECT EFFORT WITH RESULTS
Does your child understand that studying his spelling words during the week improves his test results on Friday? Or that proofreading an essay for English may positively influence his grade? Some children seem to think that magic rather than hard work will remedy an academic shortfall. They don’t see the connection between effort and results. When your child’s effort shows improved results, call attention to this positive change. Give examples of how effort and results have worked in other areas of his life. Children seem to understand that practice improves performance in athletics and the arts, but this idea has seldom been applied to academics. Use sports or arts analogies to help your child see that effort equals improved results. For example, remind your child of how practicing the piano improved his skill in playing a particular song, or how shooting baskets at the park improved his points per game.
6. ENFORCE ACADEMIC TIME
Require your child to study in a specific place for a specific amount of time each day. Allow for some time to unwind after school, but don’t let studies wait until the late evening hours. Like the rest of us, children spend time and energy worrying about what they need to do. It’s often more productive just to sit down and get it done. Some educators recommend no television until after academic time. This may, in fact, be a good incentive for your child to complete her academic time before her favorite 7:00 p.m. program begins. Professionals seem to agree that a child will learn and concentrate better if her study area is not located in the middle of family activities. Having your child do school work in a room away from you and her siblings encourage her to be an independent learner. It also keeps you from feeling as if you need to nag her about doing her work. Encourage your child’s commitment to learning by requiring her to spend a designated amount of time each day on academic activities. Naturally, these should include required homework, but they could also include reading, reviewing notes for classes, or working on other projects related to her interests. This academic time should be spent without television, telephones, or interruptions.
7. SHARE DECISION MAKING
How motivated and committed are you to a task you have been assigned, as compared to one where you share in the planning and decision making? Your child feels the same way. When you involve him in family plans and decisions, he feels a sense of ownership. With ownership comes a greater commitment to family rules, procedures, and practices. For example, you might try holding family meetings on a designated day of the week. Or set them up whenever a decision needs making or a problem needs solving. Or reserve a day or afternoon each month for a family event planned by your child. (If your family has more than one child, let them alternate in exercising this privilege.) You may wish to set geographical or financial boundaries for this event, but let the child do whatever researching and planning are necessary.
8. USE INCENTIVES
Rather than setting up negative consequences, use positive incentives to motivate your child. Keep in mind that the only incentives that work are those your child is interested in or needs. Let her determine what they will be. Steer her away from incentives based on money or material rewards. Encourage her to think about things she likes to do. For example, what about playing a game with you? Or choosing the Saturday night video and making popcorn? Incentives should be positive, and they should be stated positively. For example, say, “If you get your math done this week, you can have a friend over this weekend,” not “You can’t have a friend over this weekend if you don’t get your math done this week.” Incentives will need to be changed from time to time. The same rewards won’t always work. And, of course, you should never provide the promised reward if the child doesn’t fulfill her part of the agreement.
9. COMMUNICATE CLEARLY
Clear communication is important in developing your child’s feelings of safety and security. Lawrence Greene, Director of the Developmental Learning Center in California, offers this advice on communicating effectively with your child:
Use language that is understandable to the child.
Recognize and appreciate the child’s point of view.
Be aware of the child’s fears and anxieties.
Be willing to listen to what the child has to say.
Be sensitive to the hidden messages in the child’s words.
Recognize that particularly with adolescents, their values, attitudes, and perspectives are being influenced by others outside the family.
10. MINIMIZE ANXIETY
Your home needs to support both your child’s personal and academic development. You can minimize his anxiety about learning by creating a non-threatening place for taking safe chances. Your child should feel that making a mistake will not result in criticism. Help your child to be comfortable with both wins and losses. Recognize improvement, and be there for him in times of disappointment.
11. BUILD SELF-ESTEEM
Provide opportunities for your child to experience success. If she is caught in a failure cycle, you may need to set up a success situation. What could you ask her to do that she is almost guaranteed to complete successfully—pick up her toys, follow through on a household responsibility, run a family errand? Whatever you choose, be sure to recognize her success when she is done. Keep in mind that it takes time to change the way one sees oneself. Especially if a child’s self-esteem is low, it may be quite a while before she is completely free of the failure cycle. However, each success, no matter how small, helps to build self-esteem. Little by little, these victories add up to big changes.
I will be listing the gifted characteristics and concomitant problems throughout the spring.
Characteristic:
Power of critical thinking; skepticism,
evaluative testing, self-criticism and self checking
Concomitant Problem:
Critical attitude toward others; discouragement from self-criticism
Characteristic:
High energy, alertness, eagerness; periods of intense voluntary effort preceding invention
Concomitant Problem:
Frustration with inactivity and absence of progress
1 Positive Coaching Tips for Parents -- from Up From Underachievement by Diane Heacox
1. USE MODERATION
Too much celebration or analysis can lead to problems. Your child may start believing that you love him when he succeeds and criticize him when he doesn’t. This attitude may encourage perfectionism. Recognize your child’s improvements, not just his successes. Help him through disappointments when things do not work out as well as he hoped. Make a strong effort to stop the roller coaster ride of winning highs and losing lows.
2. BE POSITIVE
Be especially positive in your comments about school and your child’s teachers. Listen to her complaints about school, and then encourage her to see the other point of view. Ask questions like, “What do you think the teacher saw/thought/believed?” “Why do you think the teacher may want you to do that?”
3. AGREE ON AND COMMUNICATE EXPECTATIONS
It is important for your child to get the same clear message about school expectations from both Mom and Dad. If one of you shields the child from the other’s expectations, the child learns to play the two of you against each other. You need to agree on what is expected of your child’s academic performance. Your standards must be in line with what your child is realistically capable of achieving. If you need help identifying reasonable academic expectations, consult your child’s teacher, the school psychologist, or the school counselor. Talk with your child about his strengths and limitations. Focus on limitations as “things you are working on,” not “things you are bad at.” “Working on” implies that he can and probably will improve if he puts in some time and effort. Although some of his talents and skills may never be as strong as others, improvement is always possible. Never excuse poor performance by saying, “That’s okay; I wasn’t good at (math/social studies/composition/whatever) either.” Treat all of your child’s subjects as if they are equally important and relevant.
4. LET THE LEARNER STRUGGLE
Your child develops feelings of confidence and competence when she is able to overcome obstacles on her own. If you rush to assist, instruct, or direct whenever things get difficult, you are sending a negative message: You are telling your child that she is not able enough, smart enough, or competent enough to figure things out for herself. Think about how good you feel when you find your way through a difficult task. Allow your child to experience that wonderful feeling of accomplishment. This doesn’t mean that you should abandon your child to go it alone. Instead, provide support and encouragement (“I know you can figure it out”). If your child tries and still doesn’t understand, coach her by talking through the problem, concept, or skill. Don’t do the problem for her.
5. CONNECT EFFORT WITH RESULTS
Does your child understand that studying his spelling words during the week improves his test results on Friday? Or that proofreading an essay for English may positively influence his grade? Some children seem to think that magic rather than hard work will remedy an academic shortfall. They don’t see the connection between effort and results. When your child’s effort shows improved results, call attention to this positive change. Give examples of how effort and results have worked in other areas of his life. Children seem to understand that practice improves performance in athletics and the arts, but this idea has seldom been applied to academics. Use sports or arts analogies to help your child see that effort equals improved results. For example, remind your child of how practicing the piano improved his skill in playing a particular song, or how shooting baskets at the park improved his points per game.
6. ENFORCE ACADEMIC TIME
Require your child to study in a specific place for a specific amount of time each day. Allow for some time to unwind after school, but don’t let studies wait until the late evening hours. Like the rest of us, children spend time and energy worrying about what they need to do. It’s often more productive just to sit down and get it done. Some educators recommend no television until after academic time. This may, in fact, be a good incentive for your child to complete her academic time before her favorite 7:00 p.m. program begins. Professionals seem to agree that a child will learn and concentrate better if her study area is not located in the middle of family activities. Having your child do school work in a room away from you and her siblings encourage her to be an independent learner. It also keeps you from feeling as if you need to nag her about doing her work. Encourage your child’s commitment to learning by requiring her to spend a designated amount of time each day on academic activities. Naturally, these should include required homework, but they could also include reading, reviewing notes for classes, or working on other projects related to her interests. This academic time should be spent without television, telephones, or interruptions.
7. SHARE DECISION MAKING
How motivated and committed are you to a task you have been assigned, as compared to one where you share in the planning and decision making? Your child feels the same way. When you involve him in family plans and decisions, he feels a sense of ownership. With ownership comes a greater commitment to family rules, procedures, and practices. For example, you might try holding family meetings on a designated day of the week. Or set them up whenever a decision needs making or a problem needs solving. Or reserve a day or afternoon each month for a family event planned by your child. (If your family has more than one child, let them alternate in exercising this privilege.) You may wish to set geographical or financial boundaries for this event, but let the child do whatever researching and planning are necessary.
8. USE INCENTIVES
Rather than setting up negative consequences, use positive incentives to motivate your child. Keep in mind that the only incentives that work are those your child is interested in or needs. Let her determine what they will be. Steer her away from incentives based on money or material rewards. Encourage her to think about things she likes to do. For example, what about playing a game with you? Or choosing the Saturday night video and making popcorn? Incentives should be positive, and they should be stated positively. For example, say, “If you get your math done this week, you can have a friend over this weekend,” not “You can’t have a friend over this weekend if you don’t get your math done this week.” Incentives will need to be changed from time to time. The same rewards won’t always work. And, of course, you should never provide the promised reward if the child doesn’t fulfill her part of the agreement.
9. COMMUNICATE CLEARLY
Clear communication is important in developing your child’s feelings of safety and security. Lawrence Greene, Director of the Developmental Learning Center in California, offers this advice on communicating effectively with your child:
Use language that is understandable to the child.
Recognize and appreciate the child’s point of view.
Be aware of the child’s fears and anxieties.
Be willing to listen to what the child has to say.
Be sensitive to the hidden messages in the child’s words.
Recognize that particularly with adolescents, their values, attitudes, and perspectives are being influenced by others outside the family.
10. MINIMIZE ANXIETY
Your home needs to support both your child’s personal and academic development. You can minimize his anxiety about learning by creating a non-threatening place for taking safe chances. Your child should feel that making a mistake will not result in criticism. Help your child to be comfortable with both wins and losses. Recognize improvement, and be there for him in times of disappointment.
11. BUILD SELF-ESTEEM
Provide opportunities for your child to experience success. If she is caught in a failure cycle, you may need to set up a success situation. What could you ask her to do that she is almost guaranteed to complete successfully—pick up her toys, follow through on a household responsibility, run a family errand? Whatever you choose, be sure to recognize her success when she is done. Keep in mind that it takes time to change the way one sees oneself. Especially if a child’s self-esteem is low, it may be quite a while before she is completely free of the failure cycle. However, each success, no matter how small, helps to build self-esteem. Little by little, these victories add up to big changes.